twisted-emo

Have you ever felt so alone that its almost crippling? Sometimes I feel like I am the only person on the planet. That every which way I look there is nothing but darkness. I hate that I feel this way, but more often than not these feelings are true. I have a mother that loves me...If a little too much, A friend i would do anything for, and a few other people i care for greatly. Yet I wish for so much and dream of so much more, And the fear i have of falling on my face is terrifying. I dont know if i can do things on my own, But i dont want to depend on others. I want to be my own person, but somethimes i feel I am to strong willed. I scare lo

Soo Im in a weird spot at the moment. I don't really know what to do, i keep confusing myself but something always stays constant. I can explain my self anymore and hope is only something i can dream of. I like to consider myself a strong person. But more often than not i find i doubt myself, my emotions, my motives. I constantly am being pulled by forces outside my control and think of every one before myself because in all reality i don't like what i see in myself and i don't know how to change myself into what i want to be. And more and more i find myself thinking about things i really want but have a sinking feeling i will never have.

My life right now just doesnt seem right.I feel like im in a whirl wind of emotions and being pulled 5000 different directions. Im fighting off my own feelings of depression and anger and hurt. rejection, acceptance and trying to kind a way to claw my way back into the light. i feel like each day reality sinks a little more into the darkness. and more and more i want nothing more than to curl up into a ball and cry. But its me remember? I dont cry, I dont let my emotions get them better of me. I do for everyone else. I take care of everyone else...but now im starting to wonder...what about ME? Deos anyone really care about that? Every smile i